The person can be your #lover, a #friend, a #colleague or even a #celebrity.
We know that we need to stop talking to them, reduce talking to them, stop thinking about them or even cut them off from our lives. But can we?
If your answer is not a #yes, it would turn into a YES once you start following one or all the ways applicable that I am mentioning down below.
Now is the time to take your power back from this person who probably didn’t even take it in the first place but you gave it anyway.
For that #risk you took, to explore yourself, I am proud of you.
So let’s jump into the SOLUTIONS.
1. SCHEDULE
It’s a good habit to have a schedule for every day of our lives unless we are on a break or a holiday.
When you are booked, so is your mind. Simple. Take out a pen and a paper or open your #Microsoft #Excel sheet and make a #planner for yourself, covering all the times you earlier gave it to this person.
2. POWER OF OTHER PEOPLE [The #Angels]
Get in #touch with people you had lost touch with, with people you were giving less time because you were too busy with 'this person'.
Talk to #high #vibrational people because they have the power to lift us up, just by their presence.
If you are into NGO’s, go give a service to the people in need. Spend time with them. You might feel good.
3. ACTIVITIES
Physical #exercise plays an important role when one has to deviate mind and release emotions.
Once that builds up, you can try various breathing practices[#pranayam] and #meditation.
In the free time, you now have that earlier you gave it to this person, try pursuing a new #hobby or a #course that you have always wanted to take but never did.
4. PLEDGE
I will communicate with this person only when I am spoken to.
[If the person communicates]I will choose a fixed time of the day to reply. [In the beginning, preferably, when I know that the person wouldn’t be around to reply]
I will selectively talk and share only necessary information.
5. WHEN THE PERSON WANTS YOU TO BE THE “LISTENING EAR”
Many times all this is happening in our head. No one has the slightest idea about it. Because it’s a #secret #infatuation you have built, sometimes in the wrong territory.
If this person is sharing #personal information, you need to see where you stand with respect to your mind-set.
If you are strong: well then listen and maybe even offer some help or advice if needed.
If you are not strong enough: Try to have a superficial talk and yet not be disrespectful or hurtful. Try to steer the conversation into some breathable subject.
And if you are not at all strong: If you can and it doesn’t disrupt your #mind further, then be open about your #heart with the person and tell them that you need a time out until u would be fine. Or else, try to hear till u can and then maybe politely leave the #conversation.
6. COMMON FRIENDS [Opportunity to take your power back]
So you have common friends and hence common places to show up to. What to do?
Stay at #home and be the weak one? Do that if you feel so because everyone has different thresholds and situations. But if you are sure you are ready then it’s a good idea to show up because you will know your #innerstrength only when you go out and face your problem.
If you have brought yourself to the commonplace, remember you have a #life and these common friends have a life too. Why not talk to them when you are out in a #group? They are your friends who were probably sidelined by you earlier. This time, genuinely try to know what’s happening in their life and Be Present. Share with them a piece or 2 of your life too.
7. SELF-INTROSPECT [Deeper surgery of your mind]
Try to think or write every detail of your side of the story of your #relationship. Even if it was with a person who is not even aware of your state.
The good, the bad, the everything, let everything flow out from your mind. Start from the very first day you remember this person from till the end. When you do such #reflection, answers will come out and so will #emotions and #realisations. Let your emotions out without hurting yourself or anyone. You may even want to cry and wail. It’s perfectly fine if you look like an idiot at the end of it. Accept your analysis if you know it is true. Deep down you may learn something about yourself which may or may have no relation to this person on your mind.
8. CUT-OFF
Sometimes it is necessary to cut off in the initial days or forever.
But I would recommend this as a last resort. Because cutting off from a person doesn’t always solve a problem. I believe, it postpones or delays the true lesson that you must learn. A closure or graceful weaning away from this person is a better way to deal.
9. REBOUND
I personally don’t like this technique. Yours can be 1 in a million love story where you met as a rebound and turned out to be soulmates but I believe most of the time a rebound can cause more trouble. If we haven’t come out of our situation in a “sane” way, the tendency could be to attract the same mess into our lives over and over again. I do not recommend replacing a negative situation with another negative thing. Be it a rebound, eating junk food to death, isolating yourself from others and am sure there are many more ways.
But then again, for some, getting into temporary non-meaningful #relations, helps. Well if you belong to this group, go ahead, no judging. Just be transparent with this person and don’t be an #energyvampire.
10. TIME-OUT
There are times you are so numb, you do not want to do anything. You do not want to listen to anybody or read such articles. Well, don’t be hard on yourself. Simply BE. Give yourself some time and make sure you spring back whenever you are ready. Hopefully not months and years later. But quite sooner than that. :) Be compassionate towards yourself. It’s normal. It’s fine. Love yourself.
In The End…
At any point do not think that what have you got yourself into? Or how could you never foresee it? And so on so forth.
Rather be proud of yourself because all this is a part of you being #strong enough to open up your heart for it to learn and grow.
And please, don’t be in complete misery because you did get #happiness from this relation once. Even if it was just in your thoughts and mind and momentarily. Whatever the case may be, be grateful for the #love you allowed yourself to feel.