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10 toxic behaviours and how to deal with them !!

Updated: Aug 23, 2020


Hello, Residents of Planet Earth !! How have you been?!?

#covid19 is still haunting and hunting and we all need to be mindful and peaceful.

Just like #coronavirus, many people come into our lives for a reason, season or lifetime to teach something, to learn something or just to be[more on this some other time].


Often we think that why do people who cause us #pain[physical, mental, etc] come into our lives? In deep mourning time we would only think of one answer: to add toxins to our lives so we would slowly or immediately perish or lose our #spark

But when we are a little bit more into our #power, we can see some boon in the bane.

We can see some light at the end of the tunnel.


Again! Why they have come into our lives? We chose it before we were born for some experience, we manifested them with our own mind by giving them too much attention or karma. Who knows? Let's not get into such amazing details.


Let's see what are the few types of #toxicbehaviours or #toxicpeople and how to deal with them.

The best solution is to cut chords with them but sometimes it is not possible or necessary.


Toxic Behaviour Number 1: THE STOMPERS AND THE BACKBITERS


They are usually putting others down and themselves up.

This can be done directly and suggestively/indirectly.


1] Directly: They behave they are like Gods and there is no one like them or better than them. They could get into one-on-one verbal duelling with you. They fake it till they make it: their confidence, success and reputation[even if it is fake].

They would highlight in bold their good or even mediocre skills to get the #limelight. They might pick up the biggest, toughest 

"looking" thing to do, to show their worth. You pick up a small dirty work, the groundwork that takes more time and energy gets unnoticed in front of it. 

They can feed you with wrong information privately and when you mention it in public, they back off.

They could be the #remarkers: "Have you gone fat, dear?", "oh! You could never make a decision!", "I could never take you out in those clothes"

How are they toxic? They would lie to you without batting an eyelid. You could have a fake friend in them until you are useful to them. You could fall in their trap and fall down miserably. They would remark you, body shame you or even bribe you for their benefits by boosting your ego, pleasing you or simply by presenting you with the right #gift, sometimes even money.


Solution: How they rise is when they are never questioned, interrogated with proofs. Look in their eyes and double-check with them to verify. Tell some facts you already know are true and falsify them. They will be much careful to lie to you the next time.

And for the body-shaming jerks: first and foremost, be confident in your own skin. And then if you want to give them a reply: do it. If your style is giving it back: oh it's easy. If your style is making the other feel sorry for their words: you need to have the right communication skills. My personal fav is: give a smile[not a very angelic one but more like "will you ever grow up? You are impossible!", or "Do you really want me to reply to that and tell you about your body?" or smile as if God is smiling through you. Yeh! Creep them out.] Don't go low at their level. Scare them with your #smile and #pray to God that they would grow up someday. Peace out!

2] Indirectly: They feed bad news about you to the world. They spread a #badword about you, many times twisting the real story. Telling the facts or even #lies, manipulatively and inappropriately. Basically, the wrong word at the wrong time[Well for them all that is absolutely right !]


How are they toxic? They are the backbiters and if you have them in your life, they truly are the real #badnews.

Worse: you could lose some better people, opportunities in life due to them.


Solution: Well if you are a person of #integrity then mostly what they are doing is spreading false news around and you shouldn't bother.

To your real people, most of the times you won't even have to prove yourself.

But if they reach the point where they are affecting you severely. eg. you are losing your #job#relationship, etc.

Confront them! If privately doesn't work, do it with some right people with you with the proofs. It wouldn't take a moment to separate water from milk. They may not change themselves but you would have your issue sorted.

Also, don't let such people spread roots into your life. Chop them out, if possible from the day you get the hint, if not physically due to the relation, then at least distance them from your real life.


Toxic Behaviour Number 2: THE DISTRACTORS


They can #distract you by their noise. By their way of living: scattered and dirty. By interfering in your life. Some of them could go to the level of encroaching your private papers and computers to dig information.

How are they toxic? Your life's schedule can practically start revolving around them. When are they not around so you could do something for which you need quiet, when are they most noisy so you could stay away from around that time, how to hide your private files away from their eyes. If you are sharing a space with them and they are messy and you are not, it's going to be really disturbing to you and to them also, surprisingly.

Solution: With distractors, the number one thing we can do is not show them you are bothered because some of them find #pleasure in it.

And if you get bothered, try to build your #resistance to them. Dear after all one needs to do inner work more than change another person to make things happen.

Again try to have a normal human conversation with them privately or with the right people with you to communicate to them how their action is not acceptable.

It can be a living hell if you have to share space with them but God is teaching you something from this, just hang in there!


Toxic Behaviour Number 3: THE MOCKERS


Some people would use a combination of #humour and #sarcasm to tell you that even if you are doing something which is right on paper, you are the "not cool" one. eg. If you spend money wisely or do not believe in wasting resources, you would be labelled a Miser by them. If you are spick and span, you could be labelled Impossible. In short, your good is bad.

Why are they toxic? They will make a mockery out of the various things that you are good at. A person doesn't need a false #pleaser around but a person doesn't need an unreasonable #mocker also.


Solution: Having a firm belief in what you are doing is right is the only shield to any such mockery. You try to explain the toxic person, it would only go ugly. Stay in your higher realms. Also, the person probably is envious of you, so just be compassionate.


TOXIC BEHAVIOUR NUMBER 4: THE DEMOTIVATORS

They could be intentionally or unintentionally pulling you down due to various reasons. They may rubbish your #ideas sometimes without listening to you completely. "It's unreal, not practical, this is not how people and society lives or does, you will lose"

They may call all your supporters equally foolish as you.

If you need some initial money from them to startup: they may simply refuse to do so.

Why are they toxic? You hear a NO almost all the times especially from someone you look up to for support can result in many ideas dying at a primitive stage. It can result in low confidence in you. Demotivation works like huge rocks attached to the wings of a bird. Self-doubt could become part of your nature.

Solution: Many times we don't realise who is demotivating us because they could be our best friends, parents who genuinely only think the best for us. They turn out to be toxic because of their own limiting beliefs about themselves, about you or life in general.

Once we identify them, then we need to be sure what information to share with them, when and how much. Also, we need to be realistic about whether what they are saying is actually #true or just a judgmental statement.

Also, if you have to tell them everything for some reason, then do it with confidence without budging from your #decision and without letting their #words affect you in any way. 


And then there are these intentional demotivators. Simply steer clear of them !! Period.

TOXIC BEHAVIOUR NUMBER 5: THE SWEET TALKERS

They #sweettalk and get all the info from you[or come in your good books] and use it against you. They never tell you if you were making a #fool out of yourself in public to please you, to avoid a fight with you or simply because they enjoy it. They will say you look beautiful when you have a bird's poop in your face.

Why are they toxic? They become your #BFF and stab you in the back. All you feel is bitterness in the end.

Solution: Identify them and be wary about sharing information with them. 


TOXIC BEHAVIOUR NUMBER 6: ENERGY VAMPIRES

I think all sorts of toxic people are #energyvampires. But under this heading let's focus on the people who suck your energy by always dumping negativity onto you. More of a #complainer#Victim. You may even notice that they only reach out to you when they have problems. Because they know you would be the #listeningear. You might even need to be careful around them. After all, you could become the next person they got hurt from because you didn't listen to them and ignored them.


Why are they toxic? They pour all their dirt in your clean pond of water. Cleaning it would take another level of energy. It's a good thing to listen to a friend in distress but be sure about the pattern.

Solution: Some people are man/women in distress but they don't want to come out of it. They want to stay there and keep #mourning and complaining/#bitching. Action is missing. To them see if you could help them with an #action plan. Maybe they would run away once they realise that they have to work on themselves. Maybe they would take that little extra push from you and put some action to come out of their mess.


There are times when your energy vampire is actually out of #luck, all the time. Even though it is unintentional, it is still toxic. Try to assign fixed time to them and make yourself strong enough that whatever that person says is going hit and dodge away from you. All you would do is try to help or be a listening ear.

TOXIC BEHAVIOUR NUMBER 7: THE AUTO-SUGGESTERS

Some of the toxic people #repetitively say things to you and if you don't pay attention, those words work like #affirmations[more on that some other time]. In short, even if you aren't what they are telling you are, you become that or you get that. eg. Repetitively telling someone to get a stick to walk. If that person gives power to your words, you would see them with a stick on a future date. #Parents are a common example of these kinds of toxic behaviour. And as a child, you are in a helpless situation to do anything about it. Parents for example would keep telling children not to do something or they would get hurt. On a future date: the child may have learnt not to take risks in life or may get hurt every time they take risks because of the pre-conditioning in mind.

Why are they toxic? When you auto-suggest a person something, you create an image in their mind of a person, a thing or an outcome. Words work like #spells forming #visual imagery in your #mind they become part of your thought process and finally, thoughts tend to become things.


Solution: This entire process can be used positively as well by suggesting #positive words and ideas to someone. Well, that's what you have to do. You would know who are these toxic people in your life at one point. Every time they suggest a negative statement, have a counter positive suggestion ready to tell and remind your mind. 

TOXIC BEHAVIOUR NUMBER 8: THE AGGRESSIVE 

To win, they can use aggression of various types with no limits. Physical, verbal. They may practice the thought that if you can't ace the race then pull the leg of the winner. He/she falls, you win.

Evil Eye: They could be so envious of you they could send you negative #energy intentionally or unintentionally leading to bad luck, curse, jinx. One moment you would be on the right track and another moment you won't even have the track.

Why toxic? In their aggression which may not show outright to you, they can cross all limits to be ahead of you. They would even forget #morals, ethics and humanness.

Solution: They need help: Life may teach them, a doctor may counsel them. In short, they need a miracle to come out of it. But you cannot wait until then. Identify them and stay away. Share the least information with them. You need to immediately leave them if they are physically #abusive. Try to be around people when that person is going to be there. Be connected with people in front of whom they wouldn't show their true colours in case it is not possible for you to leave them


TOXIC BEHAVIOUR NUMBER  9: THE EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILERS

Don't you want to see me #happy? If you don't, then I shall leave or die. Can you please consider this as my death bed wish? Now I know, you don't #love me because you are not doing this.

These are the people who keep nagging you emotionally to get their wishes being fulfilled, to get their work done!

Sometimes we are too emotional, we see someone in pain and misery and we run to help them without keeping our own self sorted. This is misused by many.

Why toxic? Many times they know they are using emotions to get their thing. Many times they don't know. But every time you do not help them, you go on an unrequired guilt trip.

Solution: You need to make yourself strong and realistic. Take your power back from them which they keep stealing away from you with their doe eyes. Tell these people that 'It Doesn't Work'. Tell them you do not believe in the truth of their statements or #superstition. Tell them that you are ready to see the worse and get over with it once and for all. Tell them you can't live pleasing them all the time. And say it like you mean it. Sometimes you need to release and let go. Also, if you keep showering them with your money then make sure it is from the #charitybudget, not a #paisa more.


TOXIC BEHAVIOUR NUMBER 10: GUESS WHO? 

This is the worst kind of toxic person. A person who allows all the other toxic people to enter their lives and make #home. Yes! If you are doing this, then it is YOU.

Why toxic? You can't get rid of yourself. You have to work on yourself to make yourself bulletproof from all this. Sometimes you wouldn't even know and understand or accept. Sometimes you would be helpless.

Solution: Know yourself enough to be confident about yourself. Love yourself enough that you do not allow any toxicity to enter your life to give you pain. And you need to develop patience, RESISTANCE and learn to deep #breathe in and out. With some people, you would need it !

CONCLUSION

These were some of the types of toxic behaviours that I could think of. Some of them could be overlapping and some of them might have many branches to them. We just need to be sure that we do not come in their trap. Be aware of them and deal with them. Pray to God that they rise above in life to stop such behaviour for everyone's good.

Some say, a home is a place for love and togetherness and such toxic people are fit for the corporate world. They can exercise power and politics to go up the ladder and let a person better skilled and with more experience take a back seat.

I disagree. Such people are good for no place. Not even for corporates. Because the end of the day corporates also have humans.

We all have some behaviours of a toxic person and my only urge would be to try to rise above this pettiness and live beautifully.

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